I never truly understood mental load until I had children, when I had more than just myself to think about. But it is heavy, and relentless! Even on days when you’re sick, the children still need to be fed and clothed, and if the laundry needs doing so they have uniform for the next day, you better believe you will be rising from your deathbed to get that in the washing machine no matter how unwell you are.

I’m saying this as a happily married mum of two. It’s not my husband’s fault that the weight of the mental load falls so heavily on me. It might be something about wider society but I’m not going to delve into that.

To start to unpack the mental load of motherhood includes addressing the expectations of what a mother “should” do for her family, and why she doesn’t always ask for help. This is where the current situation of the relationship with her partner can enter into the equation. Already, the mental load has entered us into shaky, uncomfortable ground.

I’m going to end this post here by saying I get it. We all have the mental load to lug around, it came with the great rewiring of our brains during pregnancy- and it’s really hard to switch off and we probably wouldn’t want to! Sometimes, though, the load gets too much. We can’t keep being the one to carry it all anyone. We don’t want to. For whatever reason.

Maybe you just want a break.

Maybe you don’t want the responsibility anymore.

I’m not here to judge! I’m just here to hear you, and help you hold that mental load until you feel more comfortable with it.